Guinness have made a bold addition to their record book after a friendly game of Hide and Seek spiralled out of control.
In an attempt to numb the dullness of lockdown, a man – who has asked to remain anonymous – instigated a game of Hide and Seek with his family.
However, after being found in ironic record time, he abruptly closed his eyes and spouted the classic playground phrase: “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me”.
As if the event wasn’t confusing already, Guinness have also had to hire an around-the-clock official, to accurately record how far the man is willing to go.
The man is on track to break a number of other records; ‘World’s most stubborn man’, ‘World’s biggest time-waster’ and ‘Longest time without seeing your wife and kids’.
The man, who is unfortunately over the age of six, is quoted as wanting to have a “bit of fun”, but he never anticipated how the game would impact his life.
“The world seems a bit duller, but I’m still winning!” the man said, attempting to converse with our reporter, but instead talking to a wall.
When asked how he’ll adapt to his current occupation, the man had this to say:
“It’s going to be a long period of adjustment. Learning how to read and write is going to be a challenge”.
Luckily, the anonymous Hide and Seek champion writes for The Lampoon, so we can rest assured articles will remain at their usual quality.