“If I can’t see you, you can’t see me”: world’s longest game of Hide and Seek reaches seventy-second hour

Guinness have made a bold addition to their record book after a friendly game of Hide and Seek spiralled out of control.

In an attempt to numb the dullness of lockdown, a man – who has asked to remain anonymous – instigated a game of Hide and Seek with his family.

However, after being found in ironic record time, he abruptly closed his eyes and spouted the classic playground phrase: “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me”.

As if the event wasn’t confusing already, Guinness have also had to hire an around-the-clock official, to accurately record how far the man is willing to go.

The man is on track to break a number of other records; ‘World’s most stubborn man’, ‘World’s biggest time-waster’ and ‘Longest time without seeing your wife and kids’.

The man, who is unfortunately over the age of six, is quoted as wanting to have a “bit of fun”, but he never anticipated how the game would impact his life. 

“The world seems a bit duller, but I’m still winning!” the man said, attempting to converse with our reporter, but instead talking to a wall. 

When asked how he’ll adapt to his current occupation, the man had this to say:

“It’s going to be a long period of adjustment. Learning how to read and write is going to be a challenge”.

Luckily, the anonymous Hide and Seek champion writes for The Lampoon, so we can rest assured articles will remain at their usual quality. 

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