Man in six year coma contacted through satirical student publication

In a groundbreaking use of advanced neuroscience techniques, doctors have managed to make contact with a man who has been in a coma for six years.

Following a tragic 2014 car accident in which two others died, Robert Thresham of Somerset went into a coma. After a grueling six years of next to no improvement in his condition and with the permission of his family, a team at Lancaster University used newly developed technology to ‘hack’ into the dream centre of Mr. Thresham’s brain in order to relay a message designed to stir him into waking up. The team targeted the dream centre specifically as scans showed intense activity in that area, suggesting Mr. Thresham may be dreaming up an entirely new existence for himself whilst in the coma, not uncommon for coma victims. As a result the message would need to be able to adapt to this separate reality coherently.

This is that message.

It’s us, Robert. Wake up.

Your family need you. Your children need their daddy back. Graham needs his husband back.

If you somehow get this message – we don’t know what form it will be in – please wake up.

None of this is real.

Everybody misses you.

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