University puts updates on Newfess after realising students more likely to read it than their emails

After the recent shutdown of Newcastle University due to the coronavirus, University and Students’ Union administrative staff began to bombard students with important updates. The University, however, was surprised to discover that students were not reading their emails, instead being concerned by more – to use the University’s Vice-Chancellor’s words – “trivial matters”. These included whether their family were okay, and whether they were going to get their degree or not. The University therefore began to look for more novel methods to get their important updates across to students.

They noticed that the University’s confessional Facebook page Newfess was still highly active and filled with questions that had already been answered in the emails. As such, University administrative staff decided to anonymously submit their updates to the website regarding the University’s upcoming 24-hour open book exams. After seeing an immediate reaction with likes flooding in, the University decided that it would start just uploading their updates to the page.

A University spokesperson told The Lampoon: “I think that some of the BNOCs on the page are quite funny. More of them than you think are now under the employment of the University to answer questions asked by students who couldn’t be bothered to read their emails.”