Hancock Museum to be renamed, current name ‘obscene’

The Hancock Museum in Newcastle, otherwise known as The Great North Museum: Hancock, is to be renamed, official sources close to the museum have said.

A source close to the museum said “We can’t have ‘cock’ in the name of a museum for children, it’s just not appropriate. It only stands to reason that we spend £2 million pounds of backer’s funds to hire a marketing agency to help us come up with the new name.”

A number of new names have been touted, including ‘Hanwilly’, to make it more family friendly, ‘Hanpenis’, to make it more scientific, and ‘Hanvagina’, to make it more inclusive.

It is not clear why authorities insist on retaining the name of genitalia in the name of the museum.

The source of all the controversy

This decision has received some backlash, with certain groups criticising the move.

Peter File, co-president of the People’s Institute of Saving Signs and Banners from British Yesteryear, or PISSBABY, condemned the move, saying ‘Cock is in our heritage, our culture, innit [sic]. You can’t just erase how important cock has been to our nation. I love cock, and am proud to say it’.

The decision comes after a famous street in Edinburgh, formerly known as Cockburn Street, was renamed to Dongrash Road.

It is not known whether the pub of the same name will follow suit.

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