In the last fortnight a number of dire polls have dented President Trump’s hopes for re-election in November. Reports have, however, reached The Lampoon that staffers on the Trump campaign are putting their hopes in a new Canine Auditory Device that they hope will sway large numbers of Americans back to the Republican side.
Trump campaign advisor A.S. Holl told The Lampoon, “We have got great hopes that Americans will be responsive to this new dogwhistle from the President. We feel that the mood of large parts of the country has made them open to what we are trying to sell them.”
Indeed, during the 2016 election campaign The Lampoon saw evidence of a large-scale acceptance and uptake of all the dogwhistles that then-candidate Trump was selling, especially those that were aimed at female and Mexican dogs.
However, insider voices tell The Lampoon that some concern surrounds the launch due to the mixed reception that met dogwhistles in 2018. This concern, in addition to the changing social environment in the US, has led to President Trump taking charge of crafting all dogwhistles for 2020. Indeed, he has already been spotted testing out key components at rallies to his supporters over the weekend.