Like many other unemployed young people, much of my lockdown has been spent working my way through Netflix’s vast treasure trove. Quite soon, though, I realised that the on-demand service really excels at one thing: lying. Here are eight films that really deceived me.
Maybe expecting aquatic pugs and swimming cockapoos was a bit too much, but surely a labrador wouldn’t have been too hard to get? The closest Tarantino gets to a dog is the multiple cries of “bitch”, and pools of blood don’t seem like a very good substitute for reservoirs to me. Disappointing.
Instead of a heart-warming story about a young boy overcoming his erectile dysfunction, I was instead faced with a load of bollocks about balloons?
As a lifelong collector of Byzantine vases, I was very excited for a whole franchise detailing the life of an enthusiastic young potter. Imagine my disappointment when I sat through all eight films and was yet to discover a single mention of modern ceramic techniques! Admittedly some of the crockery used in the Great Hall shows a great eye for design, but overall the film evidently just used the “potter” reference in the title to lure in eager ceramics enthusiastic. Appalling!
They really aren’t.
The first Shrek film was exceptional and its title in no way deceived me. The second instalment, however, has shown me just how treacherous DreamWorks really is! I had eagerly anticipated the return of Donkey, Fiona and the gang, but picture my disappointment when the film only featured one Shrek and not the two that the title promised.
Largely unfamiliar with London, I was looking forward to educating myself on one of the capital’s hippest districts. This is not a David Attenborough documentary – why on Earth does it feature so many lewd references?! Disgusting. Many recent “geographical” documentaries have similarly let me down – Australia and Madagascar to name a couple.
Julia Robert doesn’t really suit a blonde bob.