Third year student who lives in private accommodation claims it’s out of choice

It has recently emerged that a third year University student spending their final year of study in Liberty Quay private accommodation is living here by choice, and not because no one wants to live with them.

Sociology undergrad Eton Beaver was quoted saying she was sick of the misconception that she had to desperately find private accommodation for her final year because she had completely alienated every other friend she had. “I wasn’t asked to live in an actual student house like an adult because all of my previous housemates had already found someone on craigslist to move in next year. Not to be rude, but I’m too mature for that lot anyway, hence why I’ve decided to live with a bunch of fresh-faced first years.”

Beaver has further supported her decision to get Daddy to pay her extortionate rent, claiming there’s no greater smell than vodka-soaked vomit and no better middle of the night wake up call than two 18-year-olds shagging through the paper-thin walls.

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