“No, YOUR satire publication is juvenile and lacking in quality”: a letter to our readers

We here at The Toon Lampoon count ourselves hashtag blessed to have such a responsive and vocal readership. However, we felt that we were letting this same readership down by simply allowing communication between us to become something of a one-way street. We would hate for you to think that we didn’t value your well-researched feedback or your creatively-spelt comments and, in that spirit, we have decided to respond to your responses. We hope that, by taking this step, we have helped institute a constructive and symbiotic relationship of commentary, feedback and, most importantly, mutual appreciation.

With that sentiment in mind, please accept our letter to you:

Dear Readers,

No, YOUR satire publication is juvenile and lacking in quality. On that note, WE don’t know how YOU manage to live with YOURSELVES, considering how one-dimensional and creatively flaccid YOUR articles manage to be. And it is actually WE who live in hope of YOUR website being shut down, you talentless hacks.

On that note, you know what actually isn’t clever? YOUR articles where YOU reference events happening behind the scenes at YOUR relentlessly mediocre satire publication. God, do you think that anyone finds YOUR work to be interesting or worthy of praise? In fact, WE bet that YOUR parents are disappointed in YOU.

Finally, we would just like to say that WE feel that YOUR lack of pride in YOUR city and university is, in fact, a sad example to us all. And WE hope that YOU are particularly happy with YOURSELVES for furthering the decline of satire, the English language and, almost certainly, Western civilisation itself.

WE, in fact, will see YOU in hell.

Yours, with the most sincere thanks,

The Toon Lampoon Editorial Staff

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