In what has been described as a “shallow attempt to woo younger demographics”, the Conservative Party has begun a campaign claiming that Margaret Thatcher was “the original gangsta”.
“What people don’t realise about Maggie T. is that she was the real O.G.,” said E. Tonian MP. “The Iron Lady got up to some real hardcore shit back in the day: she defeated the miners and the Argentinians during her three terms as Prime Minister. She was for real, son: she was as real as it gets.”
A Conservative special advisor echoed Tonian’s comments, stating, “When I think of what a real bad bitch is in the modern world, I don’t think of Harley Quinn or Theresa May, but rather of M. Thizzle. It’s all very well to say ‘fuck tha police’, but I’d say it’s far more gangsta to send in the Met to really fuck up some of those punkass miner biznitches.”
When asked for comment on the campaign, Prime Minister Boris Johnson told The Lampoon’s political correspondent, “I have all the respect for Margaret Thatcher, whose Euroscepticism has been a guiding light to this administration as it struggles with the intractable and overly-bureaucratic European Union. Some would say that her stance against a single currency was a contribution to her downfall, but that same choice helped create the Brexit movement that profits the valiant people of Great Britain today. In my opinion, there’s nothing more gangsta than that.”