Trump slams allegations of mental incapacity as “um… I don’t… who are you?”

President and only sort of fascist Donald Trump has come out against Speaker Pelosi’s plan to assess his fitness for office under the 25th Amendment. In a lively press conference, Trump responded to claims of not being in full charge of his mental faculties by explaining, “erm… you know… how did I get here?”

Americans thanked House Democrats for taking decisive action against the Trump administration, just three years and ten months into his term.

The 25th Amendment can allow for a sitting President to be removed from his (or – in an unthinkably optimistic world – her) office against their will. This is on account of physical or mental incapacity.

Aides considered invoking the amendment on Ronald Reagan, after he was reported to find the sitcom Friends funny.

Our history consultant would like it known that Reagan left office five years before the first episode of Friends aired. In response, we would like it known that our history consultant is annoying and no-one likes him.

Rarely bored under the Trump administration, our history consultant got the job simply by exceeding the life expectancy of all other members of Lampoon staff. He turned twenty four on Saturday.

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