Woman who voted for elderly racist has no idea how right she is that things “back to normal”

A local woman who voted for Joe Biden was more right than she realised when she cheerily told her friends that “things are back to normal”.

In voting for a man with a sexual assault allegation and a history of aiding mass incarceration, opposing busing and supporting war, things really are back on track for the same old America.

The woman made the remark about things being normal before checking for updates on something that is quite colloquially called a “national lockdown”. The lockdown follows the advent of a pandemic that has reached almost every corner of the globe.

The Lampoon trusts that the woman understands these comments are only meant in jest. There are, of course, several normal things to focus on, like environmental collapse or the resurgence of the civil rights movement.

The woman’s friend corroborated her report, telling The Lampoon, “It really is a great time for people in my exact socioeconomic position.”