Writers for satire outlet and part-time money laundering front The Toon Lampoon have been seen putting out milk and cookies for Rupert Murdoch.
This is in eager anticipation of Murdoch’s overnight visit to every news publication in the world. Our writers can tell he’s been when they wake up the next morning to find their phones have been hacked.
Murdoch makes the trip every year on his yacht. The ship is used for heart-warming schemes all year round, like hosting Prime Ministers behind Parliament’s back.
Lampoon writers hope that they don’t appear on the naughty list, like how Murdoch does on Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘little black book’ under two separate numbers.
Christmas is of course expected to be difficult for The Lampoon writers this year, who are spending it alone. They can at least take solace in the fact that coronavirus means the rest of the country are finally doing the same.