Alternate universe where Marianne Williamson is president makes contact with extraterrestrial beings

Our transdimensional politics correspondent reports from pocket universe X-56-B (local year 2023 AD), where Democratic candidate Marianne Williamson beat out Federalist Party candidate Donald Trump in the 2021 Unified States presidential election.

Marianne Williamson, dubbed “Mothership Marianne” by her supporters, has been shaking up the political scene in pocket universe X-56-B for a while now, but in the past week she has lived up to her nickname by being the first world leader to make contact with extraterrestrial life.

Her first act as president was to transform NASA into the North American Metaphysical Manipulation Association (NAMMA). Commentators have suggested Williamson believes space travel is merely the first step in humanity accessing the wider universe, and influential pop culture star and talk show host Q-anon claims they have recordings of the Mothership stating, “Space is the final frontier? It’s, like, the 5th frontier in at least 23 we need to explore”.

The eerie speed at which NAMMA was able to build intergalactic communication has been attributed to Williamson’s open embrace of a second, deeper state nicknamed “the Marianne Trench”. The organisation, officially named The Phenomenal Congress, is responsible for drafting laws of physics, and Williamson’s position of “a new, more open politics” has allowed them to work at incredible speed, introducing new legislation that allows for previously impossible technology.

The new machine, which has no name nor obvious energy source, has allowed Williamson and her crack team of researchers to set up a Zoom call with the representatives of a lunar system in the vicinity of Pleiades. The aliens, who look similar to 9-foot tall Swedish figure skaters and shine impossibly pure light out of their seven navels, appear to have peaceful intentions towards Earth.

Translation has been somewhat difficult, as the aliens seem to make no distinction between verbs and nouns, though Williamson herself has shown an innate grasp of their language. Cross-cultural interaction has been attempted to varying levels of success, though the aliens expressed familiarity with some of Earth’s religious scripts, and seemed to approve of Indonesian gamelan music.

NAMMA is now working on breaching light speed, so as to be able to meet with the aliens for a game of tennis.

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