No face, no Daesh: Interview with Newcastle student who has challenged ISIS to Fight Night

Today, Lampoon Fight Night correspondent Samy L. Clauwers sits down with Humphry Indigo, the Newcastle University student who has challenged the Islamic State to a boxing match.

Why did you feel compelled to challenge the Islamic State to Fight Night?
Well, I am truly sick of them giving it the big one. They need to be brought down a peg or two, and I think I’m the one to do it.

Have you ever boxed before?
Certainly not professionally. When I was younger, I mostly played cricket, squash, and polo. Boxing was never really an option for me until I came to the North East. However, since arriving in this marvellous city, I’ve had many a chance to ‘scrap’, as the locals say, with fellow North Face puffer enthusiasts on nights out.

How confident are you in winning this fight?
It doesn’t matter who they send, they’re not walking away with the win. I understand they must have some technical fighters in there but I’m confident in my ability. The boys in Harrow used to say that I didn’t mind getting my hands dirty.

Do you have anything you want to say to your competitor, whoever he may be?
I’m just hoping for a good clean fight. What happens in the ring stays in the ring, you know what I mean?

Stat attack

FighterHumphry Indigo   The Islamic Sate
Known as“The Arrow from Harrow”“ISIS”
HometownVirginia Water, Surrey[Redacted]
Stance     Orthodox       Complicated

The Lampoon has reached out to the Islamic State for comment, though they are yet to respond.

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