The government has today announced that their new covid safety celebrity ambassador is everyone’s favourite musician Rita Ora. Ora is best known for hits such as GENERIC TITLE and GENERIC TITLE BUT *SEXY*. #
The Lampoon understands she was phoned both by Matt HandCOCK and the Prime Minister himself, both desperately seeking her endorsement for the new covid campaign. The campaign is rumoured to be called ORA (Olways Run Away [from covid]).
Boris Johnson was particularly keen on her appointment as he seeks to win over younger voters. Sources from inside Number 10 have confirmed that the decision was between Ora and Dua Lipa. The decision was made to go for Ora as she is “a tiny bit less annoying” and “Rita is clearly more British”, courtesy of her name.
In a recent YouGov poll, over 80% of respondents failed to recognise Lipa’s name. The most common response mistook the singer for a Thai craft lager.
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