BBC rejects bias accusations after calling Keir Starmer “a shiftless tw*t”

The BBC has spoken out against the latest accusations of political bias, refusing to retract an article that referred to Keir Starmer as “a shiftless twat”.

The article, which also levelled charges of gross incompetence and squirrel sodomy against the Labour Party leader, was the latest in a series of scorching editorials that lambasted Starmer for what has been described by many as “divisive behaviour” and by the BBC as “conduct that deserves nothing less than death via the blood eagle method of execution”.

When confronted with allegations that the article represented an active attempt to undermine the Labour Party while providing active support for the current administration, the Director-General of the BBC offered no apologies.

“The BBC has always been a non-partisan and politically neutral body,” he told The Toon Lampoon’s political catfight correspondent. “The content of that article could in no way be taken as either defamation or as biased in any form. We do not owe an apology to anyone, whether that is our readers, the Labour Party, or the deranged, slavering mutant that currently stands at its head.”

In response to the article, Keir Starmer has ejected seventeen Corbyn loyalists from the Labour Party and reportedly plans to order MPs to abstain on the next twenty-five Parliamentary Bills.

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