A local man has admitted to being satisfied just understanding football talk for once. This followed all his friends being devastated at a development in football just novel enough for him to get away with asking stupid questions.
The man agreed to talk to The Lampoon’s sport reporter, a retired football hooligan.
“I’m delighted,” he explained. “I’m finally able to keep up with all the football talk, and all it cost was all my friends’ favourite sport!”
“I’m finally getting involved in conversation, and I feel on top of the world. I even sent them a Twitter meme.”
“I mean this really is the best it can get.”
The man continued to enthuse about just how much he was learning.
“Apparently, that 15 founding clubs are guaranteed participation is analogous to the gatekeeping of membership of the European Union after the 2004 ‘big bang’ expansion. Also, Man United’s manager is a slag.”
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