Billionaire and eligible bachelor Bill Gates has been spotted in the midst of rigorous training for white boy summer. He was spotted by TMZ paparazzi covered in face tattoos and lifting weights by Venice Beach, California.
The Lampoon is not yet aware of why TMZ paparazzi were covered in face tattoos or lifting weights by Venice Beach, California. Gates, however, was also heavily tatted, and seen bench-pressing several hundred copies of his book on climate change.
Gates agreed to speak to TMZ in-between sips of Huel.
“Some of my friends think the divorce has changed me, but I don’t know,” Gates said before ripping a bong hit.
“I still have the same priorities. Climate change? It’s not the vibe, bro.”
“I just wanna keep it one hunnid, and divide my time between AIDS research and sick ollies. It’s also why this summer has gotta have the sickest button-up shirt and jumper combinations.”
Featured Image: Noun Project and Wikimedia Commons