The dullest-named member of the royal family has come under fire for allegedly selling access to members of the Putin government to executives from a South Korean gold investment business.
To sweeten the deal, Prince Michael reportedly put a night with Big Suze, a fictional character played by the prince’s daughter, Sophie Winkleman, on the table. Or, as Prince Michael reassured the executives, on the bed, on the floor, or on a towel by the door.
A spokesperson for the British Government offered a brief statement on the developing story: “Vladimir Putin’s administration has been named as the number one threat to this country, and Big Suze is part of a show that forms a portion of Britain’s national consciousness. Both elements of this deal are equally troubling.
“The idea that a prince of the realm would whore his wrinkled arse out for £50,000 is certainly a difficult truth to come to terms with. I don’t mind saying that the royal family considers this the most embarrassing incident to have happened in over a decade.”
This is not the first time that Prince Michael has faced criticism for his methods of seeking financial gain. He received payments totalling £320,000 from exiled Russian oligarch, Boris Berezovsky, from 2002-2008, and made unknown figures from his numerous celebrity appearances as Captain Birdseye.
Prince Andrew’s whereabouts, at this time, are still unknown.
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