Biden reportedly backhanding any aide who says the word “Palestine”

Reports from inside the White House have revealed that any aide who such much as alludes to the existence of Palestine will get “a five-finger fuck you” from the 46th President of the United States.

As tensions between Israel and Palestine worsen in Gaza, President Joseph Biden has voiced his objections to any first-strike policy. The one exception, though, is the Commander in Chief bringing his pimp hand out to play if someone should so much as think the word “Palestine”.

This report comes just hours after it was revealed that Biden had ordered all maps within both the White House and the Pentagon to have “Israel” written over the Gaza Strip. Meanwhile, the State of Palestine has been painted over in a “soothing taupe colour”.

The United States’ relationship with Israel has long come under international criticism. Even Biden’s most ardent supporters had not expected much deviation in policy when it comes to the nature of this alliance. However, the President’s new policy of loud humming and the occasional backhand has attracted rebukes from a variety of figures.

“When even Gal Gadot is acting like the Palestinian people might just have a right to live without having to dodge rockets on a daily basis, you may need to reconsider your stance,” Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

The Republican Party has issued its own caustic rebuke of Biden’s inaction on the growing conflict. They creatively used the same format and fill-in-the-blank gaps as their previous criticisms of Democratic Presidents.

Featured Image: Flickr

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