Report: single piano notes at beginning of movie trailer suggests it’s about to get real

An investigation into a trailer for the latest Hollywood blockbuster has confirmed suspicions that the piano notes at the start mean some serious shit is about to go down. The investigation into the trailer was launched by the Federation Against Copyright Theft (FACT), after The Lampoon’s film critic pirated it.

The Lampoon’s film critic agreed to share her thoughts from her private study, or – as it is known in the business – prison cell.

“I knew this trailer was gonna be a rollercoaster right from the get-go. As soon as I heard that first piano note, I just knew it would end with a violent action scene set to an upbeat song from the 1970s.”

“That’s the issue with us movie-buffs, you can’t fool us. Can you uncuff me?”

A representative for Warner Bros. Pictures confirmed “We’ve been trying to keep this under wraps for as long as possible, but yes, we can confirm it gets pretty gnarly in this trailer.”

“There’s action, dark action, quippy action, action on a roof, and more actors than your dad can ask ‘now what have I seen her in?’.”

A spokesperson for FACT said “Who pirates a trailer?”

Featured image: Warner Bros. Pictures on YouTube

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