True ally? Guy mansplains to trans women just as much

A local man has been found mansplaining to trans women just as much as to cis women, in a truly touching feat of allyship. The man is to be awarded the Bare Minimum Award by Mermaids, reserved exclusively for cisgender people who manage to go an entire week without bigotry.

The Lampoon tracked down the man and asked him for an interview, after rifling through his bins.  The bin rifling was not for journalistic purposes; we’d just heard a rumour that he’d thrown out a TV.

“I might be patronising, rude and incredibly disrespectful, but I’m not a terf,” the man explained to The Lampoon’s condescension correspondent. “And what better way is there to show that I respect a group of people than being completely obnoxious?”

A transgender woman familiar with the man agreed to speak to The Lampoon, in the knowledge that its record on trans rights is better than most broadsheets.

“When he explained to me how my chosen name should be spelt, I knew I’d found someone I could trust,” the woman told The Lampoon. “If I’m really lucky, maybe he’ll explain all of my opinions on Sylvia Plath back to me.”

“He’s so arrogant, and I’m pretty sure he thinks I have an IQ of 30: at last, I feel like a woman.”

Featured image: Pxfuel

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