St James’ Park pre-emptively installed with ‘glory hunting twats’ stand

Fans have spotted a ‘glory hunting twats’ stand being installed at St James’ Park, a struggling community centre in the north east of England.

This follows the acquisition of Newcastle United Football Club by Saudi Arabia, the world’s least sexually liberated sugar daddy.

A spokesperson for the club swam through piles of money being dumped in the room by industrial diggers to speak to The Lampoon.

“This exciting new extension is to get ahead of the changes we expect to see at the club over the next few years. Namely, improving the reputation of one of the worst human rights abusers on Earth, and Newcastle supporters getting called fake fans in eighteen months by Man City fans.”

“We can’t wait for this new stand to attract hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers, and maybe three ticket sales.”

“That’s what this is about: community,” she explained, before spitting out several £50 notes.

Image: CFTV Stadiums, YouTube

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