Prime Minister and wet dog impersonator Boris Johnson has today proven his dedication to healthy living by announcing huge shortages of fizzy drinks. He also
Category: Current Affairs
Faroese 1429, dolphins 0, in humiliating defeat
Sports and hunting analysts alike have agreed that the population of dolphins around the Faroe Islands put in a truly lacklustre performance in what would
True ally? Guy mansplains to trans women just as much
A local man has been found mansplaining to trans women just as much as to cis women, in a truly touching feat of allyship. The
Dead gran “happy to help” unattractive grandson receive sympathy handjob
Doris Smike (82, deceased) has confirmed that she’s “perfectly fine” for her grandson, Gary Smike (23) to repetitively post memorials to her on social media
Labour confirms that Starmer’s appetites cannot be sated by the death of a single alpaca
In an interview with The Toon Lampoon, a spokesperson for the Labour Party today admitted that Keir Starmer’s bloodlust, now roused, will not be satisfied
Man with “Only God Can Judge Me“ tattoo released on mistrial
In what has been described as a “landmark ruling” by Newcastle’s Crown Court, an individual accused of three counts of grievous bodily harm today walked
