People who run blogs are famously good at sports
We don’t like to blow our own trumpet, but we know a thing or two about sports. Here, you can expect searing analysis of football, tennis, and even the one with the bat.

Ranking every Premier League team by how likely they are to stage a military coup on Chile
We’re in the fledgling stages of a real spectacle of a Premier League season, and there are already plenty of upsets spicing things up in the UK’s biggest football division. There are a lot of different ways you can rank and order the 20 clubs that participate in this year’s Prem, but there is only

“Slight mix-up” as Saudi government bombs St. James’ Park and buys Yemen
The Saudi Arabian government has today accepted the blame for a historic mistake after they accidentally bombed St. James’ Park, the home of Newcastle United. This came after it was announced that the Saudi-led takeover of Newcastle’s football team had fell through. Speaking on the accidental bombing campaign, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman has

Journalists in 2050 insisting Newcastle United takeover imminent
This report has been sent to us from thirty years in the future, which means The Lampoon will run at least thirty years longer than expected. In a stunning turn of events, recent leaks to The Lampoon suggest news of a potential Saudi takeover of Newcastle United could be imminent. Representatives from the Saudi sovereign