Senator Ted Cruz spends second day of Trump Senate Trial watching incest pornography

On the second day of the Senate impeachment trial, Democrat impeachment managers laid out the timeline of the events of January 6th 2021, attempting to link Donald Trump’s rhetoric to the riot at the US Capitol Building.

One Senator who was not completely focused on following these events through, however, was the Republican Senator for Texas, Ted Cruz, who spent what his fellow Senators described as “a significant amount of the proceedings” watching hardcore incest pornography on his mobile phone.

“It took me a few moments to actually realise what was going on,” said Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA). “Ted was just sitting there, hunched over, with his eyes glued to his phone screen. I thought he might have received some serious news – perhaps the death of a loved one – but it was incest porn again: some real intense shit.”

This is far from the Texas Senator’s first entanglement with incest pornography. In 2017, on the anniversary of 9/11, Ted Cruz liked a video of alleged family members – to quote The Wall Street Joural – “mashing their genitals together with almost Presbyterian fury”.

“Part of me wants to be offended: morally outraged at the callous disregard of a truly traumatic event,” said Congressman Jamie Raskin, lead impeachment manager. “But I can’t deny that there’s another part that was struck by Senator Cruz’s intense concentration on the familial fuckfest. From the heavily dilated pupils to the droplets of sweat shivering on his fuzz-covered jowls, he was utterly fixated. It was magnetic.”

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