“Jesus has always understood the assignment,” says desperate priest

In a desperate bid to appeal to the youth of today, a local priest has announced “Jesus has always understood the assignment”. He then proceeded to post four pictures of Jesus in different but nevertheless harmless roles, such as getting crucified.

The priest agreed to talk to our faith correspondent, who robs churches and has heard of the Sistine Chapel.

She asked the priest if the process of attracting new followers was degrading, to which he replied “I suppose it is, sis”, while practising TikTok dances.

“Still, we need young people, and it was either this or get way cooler about gay marriage.

“That’s why we’re getting on-board with all the latest Twitter trends. We’ve been doxed three times, and are engaged in intense theological discussion with a man with a furry as his profile picture.”

The strategy is not without its limits, though.

“This does test some of the more traditional members of the cloth,” the priest admitted. “Neil stopped believing in God altogether when we told him what a furry was.”

Featured Image (clockwise from top left): Mennonite Mission Network on YouTube, Look and Learn, James Shepard on Flickr and Hunter Bennett on Flickr. My targeted ads are gonna be so weird this week.


  1. Most assuredly Jesus understood his task, but if you read Hosea 4, you will see that priests do not. God cursed priesthoods forever, and all their children, in Hosea…really think God would try that same route a second time? Be blessed


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